Avoiding Difficult Conversations Costs You More Than You Think

Most managers avoid difficult conversations for understandable reasons.

They don’t want conflict. They don’t want to say the wrong thing. They don’t want to make things worse or face the consequences if it goes badly. They don’t know what to do, they don’t have time….

Avoidance often feels like the least risky option.

In reality, it’s usually the most expensive.

When issues aren’t addressed, they grow. Performance dips further. Behaviour spreads. Resentment builds, in you and in your team. No one succeeds.

Over time, this is exhausting. You’re carrying problems in your head long after work ends. You might find yourself working harder to compensate or dreading interactions that should be manageable.

The cost shows up in your wellbeing and your confidence.

The cost shows up through the impact on hard-working colleagues through no fault of their own. Negative atmospheres are created. Sometimes they feel toxic. People are unhappy and start to leave, they’ve had enough so they take their knowledge and experience elsewhere creating a new problem.

Handling difficult conversations well isn’t about being harsh or confrontational. It’s about clarity, fairness and knowing how to structure a conversation…. so it stays productive.

Reality check - With the right approach, most conversations are far less dramatic than we imagine. Our minds go straight for the worst case scenario focusing on everything that can go wrong, instead of turning that on its head and focusing on what can go well. Once you’ve had a few positive conversations, (even if they don’t feel positive, but you achieved a positive outcome) then something shifts. Your team and peers respect your position, they see you differently for taking action, standing up and being counted. Doing the right thing.

You realise you can handle this. Managing people starts to feel easier, and your role becomes sustainable.